Flying Turtle Post Intelligencer Weekly 
No. 013 RR's American Museum of Alaskan Entrepreneurship - 2008/08/09 11:30 PM
Idle reader: while adjusting to the needs of our latest Flying Penciler Cadet, R. Maximilian "Cosimo" Anderson (below), HFW engineers are hard at work remodeling a section of our industrial compound as a dedicated institution of higher learning--a place for seekers of ultimate truth--a place we're calling The American Museum of Alaskan Entrepreneurship (Coming Soon to the Tacoma Arts Studio Tours of 2009)!
For enthusiasts of the many fine products HFW offers, this museum will REVEAL behind the scenes DISCOVERIES of NATURAL ORIGIN(S) selected by our curators to VIVIFY THE SCOPE OF YOUR IMAGINATION.
Some sample attractions include but are not limited to:
Rigid Air Shark
Decried by experts as a crude proto-zeppelin, the lumbering rigid air sharks used to be a common sight off the coast of Tatoosh Island, all traces have vanished from the pages of history--save for one.
Wapato Mystery Mer-pickle
Mythological creature? Not so! over 100 years ago these creatures flourished in the crystal waters of Wapato Lake, but with the coming of the Tacoma Mall an the raw sewage dumping scandal beginning in the 1970's these creatures have all but become extinct.
Minerals of the Solar System
Most planets in our solar system are composed of rocky minerals. One of the most complete collections in the Pacific Northwest, the HFW Mineral Collection is something not to be missed.
Historical Key Collection
Most history books are filled with events and prominent statesmen. But what of the keys they carried? Our extensive collection of keys once toted in the pockets of noteworthy Americans will unlock the door to your heart.
Haunted Gardening Tools
Produced in Chinese sweatshops, these gleaming yard tools are displayed as trophies of international trade. However like seashells if pressed to the ear, screams of children lost to industrial accidents can be heard.
Glass Werewolf Mask (not made of glass)
Dale Chihuly, one of tacoma's more famous glass artisans, often dismissed as a blubbery sellout shows us that you don't always have to craft things out of glass to be taken seriously in the city of destiny. Although neither made by Chihuly or made of glass, this werewolf mask is interesting nevertheless.
Mystery Vortex
Have you ever wondered about the grand unified theory of everything? The mighty coupling of quantum physics and Einsteins theory of relativity? Our interactive science kiosk will blow your fucking mind or triple your money back!
| Format | Product Identification(s) |
|---|---|
| Audio | Lullaby Renditions of Radiohead / Rockabybaby! |
| Video | Rat Phink and Boo Boo (1966) |
| Media, the Second God / Schwartz, Tony | |
| Status | Sleep deprived! |
